within 15 minutes of being in phuket, i...

*got lost from my friends
*got drunk (thanks in no small part to the "shitty, free, roofied shots" that kept appearing out of nowhere)
*cut the shit out of my hand with a butterfly knife (which my friends assured me had been "painted with aids juice")
*played connect four with a thai hooker, although i didn't "get it" until she started asking me for money, at which point i ran away
*caught a ride home on the back of some dude's motorcycle (strangely romantic) (and no, i didn't have my arms around him)

after my first night there i was convinced everyone was a hooker (seriously). after leaving for bangkok, however, i came to understand that (1) everyone in phuket IS a hooker and (2) that this is a function of the tourism. fortunately, bangkok was different.